this whole weekend has been a happy one. not exactly happy yipee happy.. but more like joyful. filled with joy. getting joy outta simple things in life. and i like things this way. i feel so fuzzy and nice inside.

had lunch with eve at redbrick. and i left my textbook at the indian shop lah. wahlao. and i only realised it when we were at swensens. so we had to walk allll the way back to the indian shop. and then we went to brekos to study. i managed to complete like 1/4 of drawings for my visualstudies project.. and today is the first time that i drank normal coffee. not mocha or something. just coffee. super bitter leh.

misslow came to join us. and today's toilet going at brekos was so interesting. first i went to the washroom.. then of cos when u go, you try to open the door. and if its locked, you wait outside for the person inside to get out right? so i tried to open once lah. and it was locked. so i waited outside. DUH. and then this girl in purple shirt, white cap, permed hair, flare jeans and white slippers came out, stared at me.. did this super TSKKK sound and stared again. what a bitch.. so when i went down i started complaining for like 10minutes. as we were saying.. im already over the learn how not to be so sensitive and paranoid lesson. next up is... from bitterness to sweetness. no more anger. yes? ha. anyway so i went to the toilet again.... and then this lady who was waiting too started talking to me. she told me her life story.. her parents.. her breakup.. her heritage.. her age.. her ex schools. and yah..... interesting lady. but i had to keep telling her that there are other men out there.

and for the second sunday in a row, the ball bearing in my tongue came out.

today was like a ..... -come.come.lets.all.tear/cry.in.brekos.day-

the whole conversation about people leaving.
the whole conversation about people walking away and not looking back.
the whole thing about the farewell thing at the airport.
the thought of mom talking about kor last night.
the thought of how he can in the past 8 months.. not even call back once.
the thought of yesterday's talk and the statistics.

danny lim. i miss you. and those short replies to the mails that i will send to you every 25th of the month is not enough. i want to know how you're doing there. i want to see your latest picture. i want to know about your life there. i want to know you kor. as a friend. as a person. as a brother. am i asking for too much? are you so fucking busy in newyork to even communicate with us? the only time i call you is always when im abit tipsy in the middle of the night cos i know its day over there and i wont be waking you up.

anyway. yupp i started off this entry talking about joy.
i am still feeling quite joyful.
just a tinge of sadness. or rather... bitterness?

joy joy joy. fill my heart. amen.